Head Issues

I don't know if I have postpartum depression, but some days (ok, most days) it seems like I have postpartum anxiety. I worry about C constantly. For real. The majority of my worrying came after an incident when she was just 6 weeks old.

When she was 6 weeks, I noticed a puffy spot on her head. It jiggled when you touched it. I immediately freaked out--I thought her brain was bleeding or swelling. I was home by myself, couldn't get a hold of her doctor, and was thinking the worst. So I rushed her to the ER, and Mr. McG met me there. The whole way there I kept thinking she was going to die. This probably sounds really dramatic, but that's what was running through my mind. After a brain ultrasound and talks with the doctors and neurosurgeon (scary, right?!), they discovered it was a subgaleal hemorrhage that was a result of the vacuum used at delivery. They weren't sure why it developed six weeks later because it usually occurs hours after birth. The bleed eventually went down, but since then I've been crazy obsessed with the shape of her head. Crazy being the key word, according to my husband. I really can't stop obsessing about it, and when I think back to how I thought I was losing my baby girl I cry. I was absolutely terrified.

In these pictures you can see the puffiness. We outlined it with a marker to track the progress and make sure it wasn't getting bigger.

You can see the spot under the white V on hubby's shirt.

Ok, now let's move on to today. I'm still obsessing over her head, but I think I have reason to! As you can see in the picture below, the right side (on the pic) is bulging out. The doctor said it's fine and normal, and is attributing it to her laying on her back. But her back isn't flat! It's normal. And this side isn't going down at all. So I'm freaking out again. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm crazy about this, but I'm taking her to the doctor again and even thinking about getting a second opinion. What do you all think? Am I just being paranoid? Click on the picture to make it bigger so you can see what I'm talking about.

How to make a momma mad

I'm sure we all have one--an extended family member that plays favorites, and you aren't the one on the awesome end. It pisses you off. You then ignore it. But then something happens, and it pisses you off again. Well, today, my aunt pissed me off for the last time.

I should start with some back stories. My aunt (who's rich) completely plays favorites to my twin cousins, who are only two years younger than me. They go on vacation with her every year (she has a condo in Florida and they get to use it. My family? Not so much.), she's bought them Coach purses, and she's always doing things or getting things for them. Oh yeah, she even got them a car! I've just gotten bath towels for my wedding and she split my $70 pack n play with another aunt for my baby shower. Really, rich aunt?? So, yes, she totally plays favorites, and I'm sick of it.

Back in December, my aunts and cousins came over to my house to make Christmas cookies. Baby girl was just six weeks old, so I was completely exhausted. We also had a health scare with her just a couple days before: we took her to the ER for a head injury resulting from her being vacuumed at delivery...six weeks later! (More on that later, but let's just say I thought she was dying.) So needless to say, I was mentally and physically exhausted. They were supposed to arrive at 9, so I got up at 7. What time did they show up? 11!! Did they give me a courtesy call to say they'd arrive later? Of course not. They didn't even apologize! So I was pretty pissed. I'm a new mom, and sleep is very precious. I could have had two more hours of precious, precious sleep! I kept my cool for the most part until they did something that really ticked me off, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I kind of lost it. Like, I went bat shit crazy on their asses. I started crying, yelling, slamming doors....yeah, crazy. But remember I just had baby girl SIX weeks ago! Hormones were still raging. And I was sleep deprived.

So fast forward to yesterday. We went to a family function, and my aunt was there. She asked what was new with baby girl, and Mr. McG said that she's learned to scream. Rich aunt replied, "She takes after her mommy!" Hubby tried to ignore the rude remark by saying, "Yeah, she'll be a soprano like her mommy. Her screams get really high!" Aunt responds with, "Just like her mommy!" I. Was. Pissed! I rolled my eyes and walked away. Hubby left too. She also made a similar comment on Christmas Eve.

So I'm done trying to please this woman. I didn't do anything to her at all before my meltdown in December, and yet I was never on her good side. Whatever. My cousins can have her. She's the one that's bat shit crazy. As my mom (her sister) said after I told her what happened: "she's off her meds!"

Hello There!

I guess I should properly introduce myself! This is a new blog, and I don't have any followers yet (boo!), but hopefully I'll get some soon. And when I do, I don't want you to think, "who the heck is this girl?!"

My name is Mrs. McG, hubby is Mr. McG (or J), and baby girl is C...or baby girl! I already have a family blog that covers the everyday and mundane stuff so our out of town family can keep up, but I wanted to create a more anonymous one so I can post stuff I don't really think family should (or would want!) to read.

I'm a teacher, and I'm trying to be the best mommy I can be to my 7 month old (gah, can't believe she's that old already!!). We practice attachment parenting. So I'm a breast feeding, co-sleeping (not bed sharing), baby wearing mamma who's also trying to cloth diaper....still new to that process though!

This blog will mostly be about my adventures, or misadventures, as a new mom, so sit back and enjoy the ride with me!

Because I'm a Huge Nerd

There was a book sale at school today, and when I saw this book I knew I just had to have it!

I mean, look at how pretty it is! I couldn't pass it up. I've been wanting to learn how to sew and knit for a bit now (like my awesome rhyme?), so this book puts the directions into easy kid speak for me. I figured I could try it out over summer break--because I won't have enough to do--you know, with a baby and all. Hopefully I can learn a thing or two, and I'll report back with my creations.

Totally geeking out over here!

First day of cloth diapering

I should start out by saying I've been using disposables for the past 6.5 months. Cloth diapering intimidated me, and quite frankly, kinda grossed me out! However, I'm tired of paying a crazy amount on disposable diapers that a) don't work, b) cause rashes, and c) hurt the environment. So, I started looking in to cloth diapers. (I actually wanted to do this before C was born, but my family (who cloth diapered in the middle ages) advised against it. My aunt's reaction? "Pfft. Have fun with that. You won't last very long!" So, yeah.) I hope I find a great solution for my baby girl!

Today was our first day of cloth diapering, and it wasn't a failure! Well, we had to change C's outift twice, but that was due to user errors. Daddy had diaper duty first since I was at work, so first up was Rump-a-rooz. Apparently, the urine just soaked through this diaper. But, hubby didn't set it up right! He didn't use the 6-r soaker--he used an insert for another diaper. So, I will refrain from really reviewing this system until I can do it the right way!

Next up was Happy Heinys. I wasn't too impressed with this one, unfortunately. I really wanted to be, too. Hubby changed C into this diaper right before nap time, and when she got up 1.5 hours later, her outfit was soaked. The pee came right out of the legs. Again, I'm not sure hubby had the fit down, so we tried again later in the day. We had better luck the second time, but it was really bulky on C, and we had to make it kind of tight so it wouldn't leak. I don't think she really liked it. I should add that we used the one size diaper with the velcro--I think the snaps would have fitted her better. But I don't have one to test, so for now Happy Heinys are at the bottom of the stash.

The diaper of the day was FuzziBunz. The fit was a bit trimmer, C seemed really comfortable in them, and it contained the poop and pee wonderfully! I can't wait to use these again!

Well, that's all for now. I just have these three brands, but I want to try more. I am interested in looking into Smarti Pants, bumGenius, and Flip. I better start entering some giveaways to see if I can win some!

"I feel like we are being punished for having a baby..."

Happy hour at our favorite restaurant (we'll call it Rock Bottom) is awesome. But after tonight, we probably won't be going back for awhile.

Back story: Before C was born, we went to happy hour at least once a week. The waitress always knew what we wanted--a Mt. Dew for me and a beer of the day for the hubs--and the food was great. As the end of my pregnancy was drawing near, one of my main concerns? What will we do about happy hour?! So, I asked our waitress what the policy for babies in the bar area was (because happy hour is only in the bar) and she said no babies allowed. Ahhh! Such horrible news! However, 18 year olds were allowed in the bar with parents. Hmm, let's think about this. Babies, who have no concept of what the heck is going on, aren't allowed. But 18 year olds, who are probably itching for their first taste of precious alcohol, can sit in the bar? Yeah, makes sense to me. (Our state is so backwards sometimes.)

So, tonight we decided to take C to dinner with us, and we obviously had to sit in the main restaurant area. Since we were there during happy hour (3:30 actually...yeah, we are losers), I asked our waiter if we could get the happy hour prices since we, you know, can't take the baby into the bar. The answer? No. "But we aren't allowed in the bar with our daughter, and we would totally be in the bar if we didn't have her with us." "Sorry, but you have to be in the bar. It's so you buy a beer as well, but I know you are going to get a beer anyway." This was where he pissed us off. Really dude? You can't just ask your manager? We are regulars. I am the Rock Bottom Macaroni and Cheese connoisseur, and my husband knows these beers better than you!

At this point, I was pretty mad. We were the ONLY people in the restaurant area. The stupid state law doesn't allow us in the bar with a SIX month old! We just want happy hour prices so we can afford to buy diapers and baby food fixings! That's when I said, "I feel like we are being punished for having a baby!" He just said sorry again, and walked away. So frustrating.

I was this close to telling the manager just how I felt when our waiter came back (toward the end of our meal) and said he can give us the happy hour prices. Darn straight! Don't discriminate against those with precious little cargo just because the state law sucks. Give the sleep deprived parents a little break!

Me? Cloth diaper?

Today I heard that smallbundles.com is going out of business, so everything is 40% off.  I figured this could be a good way to start cloth diapering.  I should first tell you that we tried gDiapers a couple months ago.  We like them, but the inserts are more money than disposables!  So, we stopped using them.  With this sale, hopefully we can get back into it.  Here's what I got:

• Happy Heiny's Girl Starter Pack (includes 3 diapers)
• 1 Happy Heiny's Diaper Cover
• 2 Fuzzi Bunz
• 2 Rump-a-rooz
• 2 packs of Happy Heiny's oval inserts

The total came to about $140.  Hopefully we like, and use, all of these!  We also have two gDiapers.  I'm not expecting us to totally ditch disposables--I just want to help cut the cost of buying diapers.  Do you think this is a good start?  Any others I should get or look out for?

Night time feeding struggles as a new parent

As a new mom, I had no clue how to handle night time feedings.  Baby cries, so you just get up to feed her.  Right?  Well, that's what I thought you do, but for some reason that's not what I did.  I blame my husband.  He's fun to blame things on!  Here's our night time feeding routine for the first month (and boy did this make for a looong month!):

Baby girl cries at midnight.  I take her into the nursery (she sleeps in our room), turn the light on (crazy, right?!), sit on the futon, whip out my boob, and she eats for 15 minutes.  I then burp her and change her diaper.  (You are probably wondering why I changed her diaper.  Yeah, me too.).  She'd then spit up a little on herself, so I'd change her outfit....because I'm OCD like that.  She's then hungry again because she, you know, puked up a fourth of what she just ate.  I pray she doesn't spit up again, she falls asleep, and then I put her back in her bassinet.  Whole process takes about 45 minutes to one hour.  Multiple this by 3 and you have a crazy long night.  My husband would help out with the feedings, so I didn't have to do them all by myself (I had to pump from day one, so he gave her bottles....more on that later). 

One night during C's fourth week, as I was struggling to keep my poor brown eyes open, I had a brillz idea, yo: "Why don't I just feed her here in our bedroom and then put her straight back to bed?!  No diaper changes!  And a little spit up won't offend her boyfriend, Mr. Seahorse!"  So that's what I did.  It took 20 minutes.  It was glorious.

The next morning my husband asked if I changed her diaper during the feeding, and I proudly told him no.  I thought he'd be all proud of me too, but he was actually kind of mad.  Being a brand new dad, he was still doing everything by the book.  I was throwing that old, tired book out the window because it was making me, well, old and tired!  I explained that a lot breastfeeding moms use the co-sleepers that attach to the bed, so when baby wakes up hungry they just roll over, whip it out, and nurse.  Then back to sleep they go.  So how do they change a diaper in the middle of the night?  They don't!  He came around to my way of thinking real fast--like the next day.

After changing our feeding routine, nights became pretty wonderful.  It's okay to let a little bum wear the same little diaper for six hours, and a little spit up has never hurt anyone.  Well, I take that back.  It still makes me emotional.  But that's another story! 

Did I Just Say...

...that I was going to restart the dryer?  Hmm, yeah, kinda forgot again.  Now I'm staying up late so I can make the switch when they are dry.  I think I'm a lost laundry cause!

Reason #285 I Stink at Chores

I put laundry in the washing machine at 3 p.m., and when I go to bed I remember I forgot to put it in the dryer.  However, I forgot to restart the dryer, so my previous load is still wet.  New load then stays in the washing machine over night.  I need some sort of alarm to keep me on schedule!  Luckily, it's only 8:30, so tonight's load won't be forgotten!  Time to restart the dryer.

Ever feel like an inferior mom?

Man, I have a bad case of the inferior mom blues today. I'm sure every mom feels inferior to other moms at some point, and frankly, it's sad we feel this way. But, sometimes we just can't help how we feel. I talked to my SIL last night who is 30 weeks pregnant, and I just got off the phone thinking everything I've done or do is wrong. Here's my list:

1. She's planning a "natural, med free" birth at a birthing center, where pain killers aren't even an option. Hmm, I totally had pitocin, analgesics, and three doses of my epidural. Heck, I asked for pain meds before I could even get them! Bring it on! C's labor and delivery was rough. I will post more about that later, but after 25 hours of labor, I just wanted her out safe and sound--no matter what the method. For our next baby, I am totally considering a c-section after the experience (and recovery) I had. People probably judge me for this (her birthing center website has a video saying how c-sections are horrible and wrong), but I don't care. I still think I did the best I could with the labor and delivery I was given, but hearing other moms say they are going med free makes me feel like a wimp.
2. She's planning on cloth diapering and wiping because she'd feel guilty about polluting the planet every time she'd change a disposable diaper. Well, I can't say those thoughts have never crossed my mind while changing a disposable, but I guess I'm selfish. The time and effort put into cloth diapering seems crazy. And the runny poop that I'd have to wash and rinse off? Blech! Cloth diapering seems to be a cool thing to do now, and I feel like I'm wrong for not following suite.
3. She's going to be a stay at home mom. Ok, this is the one that kills me. (Hello?! Blog title, anyone?) Even though they really can't afford for her to stay home, she is. We can't really afford for me to stay home, so I work. I have the working mom guilt, and I'd give anything to stay home with my baby girl.

So there's the short list of why I feel inferior to my SIL. But hey, she's not even a mom yet!! All of this could change. You never know how labor and delivery will turn out, cloth diapering could turn out to be a pain in the but, and planning on staying home even though you barely have an income? Sounds good until you end up with no money.

I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm being the best mom I can be and that my baby girl is happy. Seriously, she's the happiest baby I've ever seen. We all have different situations and do things differently, but that doesn't mean our ways our wrong if they are different. I'm an awesome mom, and so are you!